That moment leaving the room for surgery... I wasn't nervous or anxious! All I was excited for was to waking up with some new girls! I remember going into the complete white surgery room and them strapping my arms down outwards, getting masked and being asked to deeply breathe in and out!!! Annnnnd I was out like a light! I will admit I was terrified being my first surgery, waking up during the surgery or the anesthetic not working! But I was so relieved to wake up after the whole process was completed!! @t.j4y VLOG WITH ALL OUR FOOTAGE ON MY ADVENTURE COMING SOON!! #surgery #bye #excited #hospital #bangkok #thailand #vlog

9/19/2017 11:35:09 PM 0
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on #depression - no. 2 A memory: I walk outside to smoke a cigarette, or three. I get a horrible coffee from the vending machine – need caffeine, don’t care that it tastes like shit. The time is somewhere between one and three in the morning – I lost track of it. This night, the longest in my life. I sit on the curb outside of the ER, a lonely wheelchair is parked on the side. An ambulance drives up. A doctor – his sneakers still wrapped in these funny disposable thingies – comes out quickly, gives me an empty look, and lights his cigarette. He smokes it in fast puffs – three minutes and he’s rushing back in. Minutes pass. I light another cigarette. And another. The coffee makes me want to throw up, but I drink it anyway. More minutes pass, another man comes out for a smoke. I am just another woman stricken by tragedy tonight. #writing #workinprogress #depressed #hospital #er #suicide #suicide attempt #suicidal #memory #words #writing life #bibliotherapy #therapy

9/19/2017 11:30:00 PM 0
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